Murphy's Flaw: Good As He Was, He Missed Some

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Bill Flick has the day off but left behind a column. This one first appeared in 1992. If anything can go wrong, said Murphy, it will go wrong. Unless I quoted him wrong. Murphy was a pessimist, of course. Always looked for the negative. Lived by the Glass-Half- Empty Theory of Negative Logic. Was the epitome of a cranky sort. However, when it comes to his famous Laws, he missed quite a few, which was Murphys Flaw, and is why were here for our annual hats- off tribute today. As Sir Isaac Newton put it, for every action there is a reaction.An updated set:- Friends you havent seen for years will always drop through town on the one weekend youre too busy to entertain them.- Mortgage rates only go down the day after youve locked in. - Young children dressed in new clothing are a primary cause of mud. - Placing a "For Sale" sign in the front yard is the only guarantee in life the furnace will finally blow up. - When the door says push, you will always pull first, and vice versa. - The one time you use the office Xerox machine for personal use will be the one time your boss will walk by and strike up a chat. - Only when you cant stay out late will you meet that one terrific person at the bar. - The day you go on a diet will be the day someone in the office brings in the cinnamon streusel. - Amtrak is only on time the days you arent. - When your zipper breaks or pants rip, it will happen only after youve just arrived at work. - If you meant to make note of something but cant remember what it was, the time youll remember what it was is when you dont have a pencil or paper to make a note. - The one week youre too busy to mow will be the only week everyone else does. - Only after you put something in a better place will you forget where the better place was but never forget its original location. - When you watch a TV program once, and in six months sit down to watch it again, it will be a rerun of the only episode youve seen. - The light is only green when youre not in a hurry. - Rest assured, you wont see that gorgeous high school sweetheart again until the day youre 10 pounds overweight, covered in sweat, wearing your Saturday worst, havent washed your hair in two days and taking a break from tarring the driveway. - Only after you finally have something, after years and years of working to get it, will you finally lose interest in it, too. - The one time the TV picture wont mess up is after lugging it to the repairmans shop to show him the problem. - Only after youve postponed the church, school, club, etc. expansion project do you suddenly have a groundswell of new members. - Right at the moment you finally commit to something will come the best reason yet to not do it. - The guy or girl you rebuffed constantly in high school will eventually become good-looking, president of a major corporation - and happily married to someone else. - Only after youve put away the diapers, sold the playpen and registered everyone for school will the EPT test become positive again. - The bugs are only heavy on the nights you decide to drive. - Kidneys work better the farther you are from a restroom. - Only when a 2-hour TV movie is down to its last 10 minutes will you fall asleep in the chair. - Lastly, contrary to well-bandied belief, it is NOT true that only after you wash the car will it rain. Its only after you dry it. Contact Bill Flick at flickyayaypantagraph..

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Murphy's Flaw: Good As He Was, He Missed Some

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